Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
June 3, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit

  • Horror Show: My Years With John Stewart
    • Dr. Colbert promised the first interview with Stephanopolis
  • Stewart is a pineapple-obsessed meglomaniac
  • and Stewart has mind powers forcing Stephen to choke himself


  • Al-Quitta
"is Al Qaeda running out of steam!? And if so, what's powering bin Laden's dialysis machine!?"
  • Wage Advice
"Plus, my advice for students seeking summer jobs! Tip number 1: live in India!"
  • Good Will Nailing
"Then, my guest is conservative pundit, George Will! Wow! Is it Sunday morning already!?"

Flag quote open clear2
Time flies, especially since I built a clockopult!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
June 3, 2008 The Colbert Report

Final Democrat PrimariesEdit

  • It's hard to be alone on nights like this
    • Animals voted too
      • Dennis Kucinich won

Five Stages Of GriefEdit

  • denial--never had it
  • anger
  • Hillary (stage after anger)
  • Democrat primaries are over
  • What will Blitzer put on his big screen?
  • What will John King touch (hopefully it won't be Blitzer)
  • Stephen needs to see something to pull him out of his funk
    • not Robosaurus
    • not ???
    • Terry McCauliffe says Hillary is still in this thing!

War On TerrorEdit

  • If fought correctly, it can go on forever:
    • Iraq
    • Iran
    • Irap
    • Al Qaeda key ally in never letting us know...damn
  • Cheney spoke at Coast Guard
    • honorary member of Coast Guard Cowboy Brigade
      • same as other Coast Guard, they wear cowboy hats, but not have to serve
  • Tonight's Word: Unhealthy Competition

Summer Is HereEdit

  • Kids are looking for jobs
    • Stepehn's first summer job: selling blood
      • Had to quit when he was told he could only sell his own
  • Help Has Arrived, in the form of Stephen
  • Stephen's Sound Advice-- Looking for a summer job


  • George Will
    • intellectual giant of conservatism, who doesn't have as much competition as he used to
    • difference between conservatives and liberals
    • formidable opponent


  • Nothing helps you get to sleep better than a warm glass of milk, especially if the cow is addicted to it.


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