Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
July 30, 2008
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  • Fair Grounded
"America's state fairs are in trouble! Where will we step on strangers' vomit now!?"
  • Itsy, Bitsy Stephen
"Then, which spider will be named after me!? I hope it's Charlotte; she's hot!"
  • A Very, Very, Very Fine Mess
"Plus, Crosby, Stills and Nash are here to perform Teach Your Children ! One of the finest songs about homeschooling!"

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For every action, I have a very superior and opposite reaction!
This is
The Colbert Report!
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~ Stephen Colbert
July 30, 2008 The Colbert Report

Stephen Is Still PissedEdit

  • Dr. Colbert noticed some good looking ladies in the audience
  • Ted Stevens improperly received gifts
    • was not improper; he sent "Thank You" notes
  • Washington Post's biased liberal accounting of facts of a federal indictment
  • New York Post: bottom corner of page 17
    • the cover? 44-lbs cat from New Jersey
      • may have eaten another cat
  • if Stevens hasn't eaten another Senator, where's the story?

Troubling Economic NewsEdit

  • financial crisis is effecting individual states
  • decline of the State Fair
    • Tilt-a-Whirl operators in decline
  • stick on a stick is more nutritional than corn dogs
  • tonight's Word: Save Ferris
    • Stephen is angry at them

Spiders and HippiesEdit

  • CSN performing without Neil Young
    • what goes around, lays eggs around
  • Young had a spider named after him
  • Dr. Bond is naming one after Stephen
    • by shamelessly begging on national television
  • Jason Bond will visit The Eagle's Nest next Wednesday, when Stephen will pick which spider will have his name

A Rare ApologyEdit

  • Which Canton has balls?
    • Dr. Colbert said McCain would visit Canton, Ohio, not Canton, Georgia
      • the crappy Canton
  • Canton, Kansas is the shithole
    • can be smelled all the way to Topeka
  • no one says anything about it
  • How many Canton, Kansas residents does it take to screw a light bulb?
    • None, they don't want to see that they live in Canton, Kansas


  • Crosby Stills and Nash
  • Dr. Colbert sat on Neil Young for the interview
  • Stephen forgave them for losing the Vietnam War
  • won't apologize to Nixon for singing so many bad things about him
  • spends a lot of time changing their logo due to Young's erratic attendance




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