Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
August 4, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit

Dr. Colbert challenges His Jew Friend to play an Alphabet Game! BTW, xylophone is not a sentence.


  • Ad-Versity
"I examine John McCain's latest campaign commercial! Good news: it's a talkie!"
  • Gouge Lucas
"And my guest, Lucas Conley, has written a book about our obsession with branding! I can't wait to hear what he has to say in The Dr. Pepper Interview Quench Zone!"
  • Apples Jacked
"Then, the band, Apples in Stereo performs! I've been a fan of theirs since they were the Apples in Mono!"

Flag quote open clear2
America, I wear the pants in this relationship! (Looks down) Most of the time!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
August 4, 2008 The Colbert Report

House Republicans Stay At Work!Edit

  • The Mob almost coalesced into a chant
  • August is the laziest month of the year
    • if Stephen didn't have to do the show, he'd only shave his face
  • House Republicans wanted to continue debating even after Dems shut off the lights and microphones
    • Pelosi also licked the gavel to prevent others from using it
  • War Dance of the Handmaiden of The Oil Companies
    • Boehner said Pelosi was doing the Jitterbug of the Trial Lawyers Associaition
      • Yodeling of the choir boys of Big Agri-Biz
  • When Tancredo sits down it sounds like a bagpipe

Candidates Are Doing Anything For AttentionEdit

  • Obama went to Europe
  • McCain washed up on Montauke (sp)
  • McCain released an ad called "Celebrity", because republicans never elect celebrities

When Animals Attack Ryan SeacrestEdit

  • Dr. Colbert has his google alerts to Ryan Seacrest and animal attack
    • Ryan Seacrest was bitten by a shark (which was sponsored by Ford)
  • this is a disaster
    • they've had a taste of TV personalities
      • it's only a matter of time they go after the good stuff
  • Dr. Colbert swims with a lucky bucket of chum


  • The Mob learned their lesson, and opened the segment with a chant of Stephen, Stephen!
  • Lucas Conley
    • book OBD: Obsessive Branding Disorder
    • his hate for capitalism is innovative


  • Apples In Stereo
    • song: Can You Feel It?
      • to celebrate the Japanese release of the picture disc of Stephen, Stephen


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