Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
August 5, 2008
Production code:
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  • Tire Blowout
"The solution to the fuel crisis may be just around the corner! God, I hope it's a gas station!"
  • Swiss Cheese
"Then, racial tension on the rise in Switzerland! Conditions have escalated from 'neutral' to 'ambivalent'!"
  • Carr Trouble
"And my guest, David Carr, is a recovering drug addict, who's now the media critic for The New York Times! Sounds like he's finally hit rock bottom!"

Flag quote open clear2
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach! Just make sure to stab with an upward motion!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
August 5, 2008 The Colbert Report

Starbucks' OfferEdit

  • Dr. Colbert enjoys the frosty part at the bottom

The Tide Has Finally TurnedEdit

  • The polls have turned
    • Obama is leading by slightly less
      • Vaguebama
  • Obama's energy plan
    • tire gauges
  • McCain said Obama is pro-inflation
  • Crist
  • Schwarzenegger
  • Lieberman
  • AAA

Republican LawmakersEdit

  • feasting on human flesh story will break soon

A Rare ApologyEdit

  • Another Rare Apology
    • to Canton, Kansas (thanks CNN)
    • America's real assburg: Canton, South Dakota



Dr. Colbert assists America with his updated bedtime ritual:

  • Don't forget to make sure you turn the stove off...
  • make sure the refrigerator door is closed?
  • and the sink is all the way off
  • and the front door is double-locked
  • and the windows are shut
  • And the iron isn't pluged in
  • and the dog's inside!
  • Did you check back door?
  • What about the food on the counter? Did you put that away?
  • Did you log out of the computer?
  • and make sure there is no one hiding in the basement
  • And make sure you wash your face
  • and each of your hands
    • 1,2,3,4,5 times!
  • Did I say check the sink?
    • I forget, aww shoot, you better start over...


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