Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
August 14, 2008
Production code:
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The Check-InEdit

  • Dr. Colbert is interrupted by His Jew Friend, who is flaunting that The Daily Show will be going to both political conventions.
    • He graciously wishes that he won't fail too much


  • Georgia Breach
"The Russian invasion of Georgia continues! Turns out nested inside that truce was another war!"
  • Gold War
"And, are the Olympics good for China!? Or, for the sweatshop workers who finally get to see their sneakers in action!"
  • Bing Hit
"Plus, my guest former Secretary of Defense, Bing West says the Iraq war is already won! I assume by Michael Phelps!"

Flag quote open clear2
If I had a quarter for every time I said 'I had a nickel', I'd have five times as much theoretical money!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
August 14, 2008 The Colbert Report

Big NewsEdit

  • inflation is getting high
  • Hillary Clinton's name will be put in nomination
  • biggest story:
    • Stephen got a shout out on Jeopardy's Tournament of Champion
  • Alex Trebeck has an obsession with Stephen
    • but can't pronounce "Report"
    • Potpourri
  • Who is Steve Colbertt
  • willing to overlook
    • Canadianism
    • over pronunciation
  • should pronounce his show "Heopardy"

Threat DownEdit

  • Dr. Colbert can't end all the dangers, but he can help prioritize them

#5 Georgia, which war to compare it to?!

  • Sarajevo's motto: "We're for Lovers of Trench Warfare"

#4 Corrections!

  • New York Times corrected a mistake they made 48 years ago
    • Action was the hottest-headed of the West Side Story gang members

#3 House-sized inflatable dog turds!

  • steaming pile of art

#2 Limousine Shortages!

  • Denver fears a shortage of limousines for the Democrat convention
    • Limo man: Mr. Cookenboo, says there will be a shortage of cars!

#1 iPhones!

  • contains a kill switch!
    • it can kill you! remote undesirable software removal switch
  • Dr. Colbert's ring tone for his mother is the theme from "Sex in the City"

Beijing Olympics!Edit

  • one Threat Stephen left out: China
    • China is using the Olympics
    • Prescott Educational Films: The 1952 Helsinki Games: The Reindeer Roars
      • this is a film Stephen watched when he attended Prescott Elementary


  • Bing West
    • a former Marine who says the Iraq war is already won, his interview was expected to be filled with high-fiving!
    • book: The Strongest Tribe: War, Politics, and the Endgame in Iraq
  • the strongest tribe: USA! USA! USA!
  • The Surge is working
    • Sunnis came over
    • Petraeus moved the troops around
  • the war--as he knew it--is over
  • should we pull out
    • or stay for 100 years and rub their noses in it
  • as the strongest tribe, we can't leave Iraq to the 2nd strongest tribe
    • Iran and Al Qaeda
  • it is safe to roll out the "Mission Re-Accomplished" sign
  • the surge wouldn't have worked without the politicians
    • congress can't take credit, because they didn't declare war
  • troops may now go to Georgia!
  • Stephen misses the Cold War
    • Bing promises there will be more wars


  • Dr. Colbert will be off for the next week, and while he's gone, he expects everyone to earn at least one gold medal!


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