Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
September 25, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode


  • Debate and Switch
"Will there be a presidential debate tomorrow!? I say we settle that question with a debate!"
  • NYVP
"Then, Sarah Palin comes to New York City! I heard she could see the Russian Tea Room from her hotel!"
  • Carr Talk
"Plus, my guest, Nick Carr, thinks the internet is making us superficial! Well, I was superficial way before the internet!"

Flag quote open clear2
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man miss my show!
This is
The Colbert Report!
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~ Stephen Colbert
September 25, 2008 The Colbert Report

Week In ReviewEdit

  • Dr. Colbert begins the show flexing and posing
    • there is no energy crisis; his Mob could be hooked up nipples first
  • an awful week
    • except for Dr. Colbert's Emmy
  • Dr. Colbert agrees that McCain shouldn't go to the debate because "Nights In Rodanthe" is opening!
    • romantic drama starring Richard Gere and Diane Lane
    • horses are like her heart so wild and free
    • they get along like two actors paid to like each other
    • gives you a reason to love
    • The Notebook of 2008
      • The Notebook was The English Patient of 2003
  • Dr. Colbert asks Obama to cancel the debate

Important DifferencesEdit

  • both Senators have their favorite "Roosevelt"
    • Obama likes Franklin
    • McCain likes Teddy, who spoke at his High School graduation
  • Stephen Settles The Debate
  • compare Roosevelts
  • Fancy-boy pictures
    • Teddy deliciously foppish
    • Franklin greatest cross-dressing toddler president
  • Toughness
    • Franklin
    • Teddy led the rough riders
  • Communications
    • Franklin fireside chats
    • Teddy called a nation to greatness in 1900
  • Historical Crimes
    • Franklin imprisoned Japanese
    • Teddy refused to shoot a bear
  • Stephen's favorite Roosevelt
    • Roosevelt Franklin
      • a Roosevelt for our time, he represents red states and blue states, because he is purple

Big NewsEdit

  • Sarah Palin came to New York after Stephen summoned her using:
    • the tooted a shofar executive spirits
    • Palin signal
  • She met with world leaders
    • Karzai 29 seconds
    • Katie Couric
      • no one leaves a Couric interview without a colonoscopy

Kim Gandy

  • President of National Organization for Women
    • endorsing Obama-Biden
  • when shed focuses on issues it clouds her
  • descriminating against Palin
    • based on issues, but discrimintaion none the less
  • said Sarah Palin has junk downtown
    • she confirmed that Sarah Palin is a man by saying the secret words


  • Nicholas Carr
    • came to talk about the future of the internets, but how much can he know when he's still writing books?
  • book: The Big Switch
  • believes the entire world will be a computer
  • Dr. Colbert's web-based desktop publishing style is innovative and maverick
  • thinks google is useful
    • but thinks we will start to think like the internets
  • we are not defined by our own creation
  • it take away our ability to
    • slow down and think
    • focus
    • or concentration
  • you can't push buttons on books
  • or scroll down the page
  • or click on the corner to turn the page
  • called Stephen the paragon of the google man
  • machines took away blue collar jobs
  • computers are starting to take away white collar jobs
    • which may bring us to a day when there are no collar jobs like porn


  • that's it for The Report, one more thing
    • good night


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