Production Info

Previous Episode
October 15, 2008
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The Check-In

  • Dr. Colbert is once again interrupted by His Jewish Friend as he is watching some of his favorite tosses, which are now all available on DVD
    • Who's The Toss? the best of the Colbert tosses!
      • call 555-FAKE-NUMBER


  • Transmission Accomplished
"The NSA eavesdrops on American soldiers! It's all part of the Army's new policy: Don't Ask, Don't Tell, We're Gonna Find Out Anyway!"
  • He Shoots, He Scorns
"Then, what's new in the world of sports!? Which reminds me, newly homeless: no camping on my golf course!"
  • Brown Served
"And my guest tonight is former Vanity Fair editor, Tina Brown! I'll interview her after 50 pages of Dolce & Gabbana ads!"

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I will now have 22 minutes for my rebuttal!
This is
The Colbert Report!
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~ Stephen Colbert
October 15, 2008 The Colbert Report

It Happened Again

  • Dr. Colbert begins with a dramatic flourish and kisses to his mob
    • he then feels the love as the mob mindlessly chants his name and stamps their feet
  • The Dow took a 733 plunge
    • like a roller coaster, only you vomit your money
  • Dr. Colbert withdrew all his money and bought a KFC snacker
    • he also didn't spit it up after taking a bite
  • if Stephen ever gets his hands on this "Dow Jones" character, he's going to kick his ass

Third Debate

  • McCain trails by 14 points
  • oundits say he needs a game changer
    • perhaps golf because a low score means you win
  • Dr. Colbert is not worried about McCain
    • like Cain
    • like John the Baptist
    • like Moses takes advice from a Bush going up in flames
  • Dr. Colbert has not seen the debate
    • he has TiVo'd it
  • didn't debate warrantless wiretapping program
    • especially free nights and weekends
  • Leahy, Rockerfeller and Specter started an investigation
    • easier to spy on Americans: they speak English (duh)
  • revelations of wrong-doing
    • book Shadow factory
      • if it's an American factory and making money, it's okay
  • Tonight's Word: Freaky Three-Way Calling
  • Soldiers and aid workers
    • of an intimate nature
  • NSA showed tact and discretion
  • Dr. Colbert quotes Leviticus before he "visits the Holy Land"
  • the calls are code for terrorist plans

Sport Report

  • put non some plastic and put on a cup
  • Lame Sports Edition
    • China hosts many international sporting tournaments
      • Olympics
      • Paralympics
      • Mind Games
        • chess, go,
  • Escape From Berkeley
    • Liberal Gomorrah
  • Baseball
    • the mob "ahh'd" four times
    • proves what is possible when a team renounces Satan and accepts Jesus Christ as your coach and Savior


  • Tina Brown
  • editor of The New Yorker magazine and Vanity Fair, she came on to tell younger members of Dr. Colbert's audience what magazines were
  • The Mob got an extra taste
  • where one goes to get a quick speedy read
  • illiterate people are his target audience
  • it feels like going to a great cocktail party
    • you've been invited
    • you might go home with one of the people from the party
  • the name of a newspaper from a novel The Scoop
    • but Dr. Colbert doesn't need to be told about Evelyn Waugh (chick or dude?)
  • her website also breaks up conservative families
    • Christopher Buckley endorsed Obama on her site, his father's magazine, new republic fired him
  • she may be cursed
  • she celebrates Christmas by firing people
  • she pilfers
  • she described it and it sounds exactly like Fark


  • Remember the show may be over out there, but it's playing non-stop in here (points to his heart)
    • because Stephen had a TiVo installed in his chest


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