Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
November 13, 2008
Production code:
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  • Father, Son, Solar Ghost
"The Vatican goes green! They're going to start selling carbon indulgences!"
  • Owner's Emanuel
"Then, President-elect Obama names Rahm Emanuel his Chief of Staff! Meanwhile, John McCain names Mrs. Butterworth his Chief of Pancakes!"
  • Moore's the Pity
"Plus, my guest is champion of economic conservatism, Steve Moore! He'll tell me what he thinks and the ideas will trickle down to you!"

Flag quote open clear2
Hey, single malt scotch! You're thirty years old! When are you going to settle down and get my stomach!?
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
November 13, 2008 The Colbert Report


  • more tragic violence tonight
  • battle rages on
  • senseless imaginary warfare between blacks and gay
    • tearing our great nation (or cable newsmen) apart
  • will it spark a culrute war with gay militant
    • only if Stephen has anything to say about it
  • started with Porp 8
    • 70% af-am voted for ban
  • Mormans supported the ban as well
    • therefore they're black
  • Afro-homo-gedden
  • Gayblackolypse
  • gays stole disco from the blacks
    • blacks may be upset about the theft of disco
  • who gets to claim Little Richard
    • more on this turmoil as Srephen makes it up

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the FingerEdit

  • Wag at Pope Benedict XVI
    • for going "green"
    • will effect Pope-choosing smoke signal
  • Catholics use every part of the Jesus
  • God's mode of communication: forest fire
  • two sets of carbon footprints on the beach
    • the other set is Jesus revving his gas-powered leaf blower
  • Wag at Julian Norridge, a British author who claims baseball was invented by the British
  • Tip to Marvel Comics
    • in Marvel Universe, Stephen remained a viable candidate for President
    • Also put Stephen on the cover of Amazing Spiderman #573
      • Daily Bugle, November 5, 2008 edition called the election for Dr. Colbert
        • there was a mistake; the wrong headline was printed, which is why Stephen
  • Wag to Marvel Comics
    • printed too early
    • Stephen won the popular vote, but Obama won the electoral college
      • It was Florida

Owner's EmanuelEdit

  • last week Obama made the first appointment of his new administration
  • he advised freshman Congressmen to avoid speaking to Stephen Colbert
  • Stephen responded by refusing to return the tip of Emanuel's finger
  • you may have the ear of the most powerful man on earth, but Stephen has your finger
  • Give Stephen a cabinet position
  • Sec Defense
  • Interior
  • White House dog
    • has all his shots, mostly house broken
      • if you lay a copy of the New York Times on the floor, Stephen promises to pee on it
  • full disclosure
    • not really your finger
  • Stephen is offering his finger
    • anything to get into the cabinet


  • Stephen Moore
  • founder of Club for Growth, Stephen has been getting emails from them!
  • Stephen reads him in the Wall Street Journal
    • something in common
    • both against the bailout
  • doesn't matter if economy fails
    • they have a theory to protect
  • political donors are getting
  • book "The End of Prosperity"
  • Obama is going to tax Christmas
  • comparing Obama to FDR
    • New Deal was a disaster
  • World War 2 got us out of the Great Depression
  • that's why Dr. Colbert is pushing for WW3
  • the press crucified her
    • she is very Christ-like
  • future of GOP
    • very dim
    • the leader is Ronald Reagan, like Tinkerbell
  • next to Dr. Colbert, Moore says the leader of the republican party is Rush Limbaugh
    • unifying figure


  • Dr. Colbert closed this episode at the Shelves of Honor
    • still mad that he didn't win the Marvel election
    • recreational googling, using the search parameters:
      • Spiderman
      • Barack Obama
      • how can you tell if a zoo monkey is in love with you
  • Dr. Colbert found: Fifty facts about Barack Obama
    • collects Spiderman, Conan the Barbarian comics
  • not a secret Muslim
    • he's a secret nerd
  • Dr. Colbert and Joe Quesada signed it, making it extremely valuable
    • Quesada volunteered to talk to Spiderman to get him to sign it to
  • Dr. Colbert places the Spiderman-collector bait on the shelf, inviting Obama to appear on "The Report"


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