Season 3 (2007) September

# First aired "The Wørd" Studio guest Introductory phrase Prod#
305 September 10, 2007 Honor-Bound Bjorn Lomborg It's okay to wear white after Labor long as it's between red and blue. This is The Colbert Report. 3112
Dr. Colbert welcomes global warm trooper, Bjorn Lomborg, to The Eagle's Nest
306 September 11, 2007 Southsourcing Garrison Keillor This is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors, get in there you atheists! This is The Colbert Report. 3113
Somehow a filthy liberal got booked on the anniversary of Patriot's Day. Stephen makes up for it by discussing the candidacy of Fred Thompson.
307 September 12, 2007 Re-run Joel Klein "Have you ever looked at a cloud and thought it looked like something else? Then stop smoking dope! This is The Colbert Report." 3114
Stephen welcomes the chancellor of New York schools, Joel Klein to find out how schools are faring the free market.
308 September 13, 2007 (no word) Ed Begley Jr. "The opinions expressed in this broadcast do not reflect the opinions of Comedy Central, MTV Networks or the Viacom Corporation because they're all cowards!" 3115
Yet another Hollywood liberal cannot resist the lure of bright lights and Stephen as Ed Begley's kid shills his TV show "Living With Ed".
309 September 18, 2007 Let My People Go Susan Sarandon "I have had it up to here (raises hand to chin) and also down to there (lowers hand above eyebrows), but in between, I'm good (hands frame face)." 3116
And yet one more Hollywood liberal cannot resist the lure of bright lights as Stephen faces off against the harpy wife of noted nutcase Time Robbins, Susan Sarandon. Also, Barry Manilow drops by to share how he and Tony Bennett are conspiring to have Richard Marx win Stephen's 2008 Emmy award next year.
310 September 19, 2007 Solitarity Naomi Wolf "Sorry egg fans; it's the chicken. End of argument." 3117
Stephen welcomes feminist and author of The End of America: A Letter of Warning To A Young Patriot, Naomi Wolf.
311 September 20, 2007 Market Forces Jeffrey Toobin "Hey, Reading Rainbow! Stop promoting the Homo-literate agenda." 3118
Stephen welcomes legal writer and author of The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court, Jeffrey Toobin.
312 September 23, 2007 Na Na-Na Na Na Na Thomas Friedman "One small step for me, one giant leap for Me Kind." 3119
Stephen welcomes a man who has been right about Iraq from day one, Thomas Friedman. He'll ask him why he wrote the book The World Is Flat. Was it to confuse the new co-host of The View?
313 September 25, 2007 (no word) John Grisham "It's the thought that counts, and so far, I'm up to zero." 3120
Why kill all the lawyers first? Let's start with lawyers-turned-authors like John Grisham, who has just written a new book Playing For Pizza: A Novel.
314 September 26, 2007 A Word From Our Sponsors Tony Bennett "I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you: hogs make a terrible foundation." 3121
Stephen finds out if Tony Bennett left his heterosexuality in San Francisco on his way to stealing Stephen's Emmy in Los Angeles.
315 September 27, 2007 Early Immunization David Schwartz "The answer to tonight's sudoku is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, not necessarily in that order." 3122
Stephen finds out how and why Hollywood is destroying America from David Schwartz, the chief curator of the Museum of the Moving Image.
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