Baby Jesus
The Baby Jesus and The Baby Satan
are fighting over the very soul of
The Universe
The Universe
is science-related, sending it straight to hell.
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Ultimately meaningless, though I did enjoy the twist at the end.
I give it 1021 stars.
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~ God
reviewing The Universe

The universe is the sum of all matter that exists and the space in which it exists in this particular dimension.

God created all matter and the universe, and anyone who says differently is a communist liberal and/or homosexual.

DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

...that the Universe is no more than 6,000 years old?
The Bible says so. So, go to Hell Stephen Hawking!

The so-called experts claim that the universe was created during the "Big Bang", a massivly hot explosion of all matter from a single point. One can tell how intelligent these scientists are by the originality of the name given to this alleged "event." Most of the truly wise acknowlege that this bogus "theory" stems from jealousy of Jesus' omnipotence.

The truth is that the universe was created in only six days, and on the seventh, God rested.

The Universe Today Edit


Godless celestial killing machine

Just as the modern Earth is plagued by liberals and bears, the vacuum of space is ravaged by their cosmic equivalents: black holes, which suck as hard as Democrats, and Ursa Major, which is a godless killing machine wrought of fire. At the center of the Milky Way, rotating around the Earth once a day (along with the sun), is a black hole (which God hates and Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has placed "On Notice"). This is eerily reminisent of the way that liberals insist on putting themselves at the center of attention, sucking in all light and joy from the surrounding area into their insatiable gullets. But what liberals, and black holes, do not realize is that the Earth is actually the center of the Universe. The Pope says so.

Things You Can Find In The UniverseEdit

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