"The eBay"
Is an essential component of's Internets Tube for Nerds
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The Baby Jesus and The Baby Satan
are fighting over the very soul of
The eBay
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I think it's bullcrap Mini-speaker-thingy.gif that eBay can't handle bids in excess of 100 million dollars.
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~ Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A.
The Colbert Report October 19, 2006

"The eBay" uses a special type of a tube of the internets that are significantly larger to accommodate the transfer of treadmills, amateur pornography, and even cars.

The eBay is the world's most popular online auction website, founded in 1995 by computer programmer Iranian French entrepreneur Pierre Omidyar. His mixed ethnicity, 2 parts Axis of Evil, 1 part All-American beefcake, has been expressed in his Internets Tube.

On one hand, the eBay is a triumph of American free market economics, with a net worth that approaches the value of Dick Cheney's secret Halliburton stock. On the other hand, the Internets Tube suffers from the crippling defect in that it cannot handle bids over $99,999,999, as was discovered during Stephen Colbert's Portrait of Stephen Colbert with Portrait of Stephen Colbert auction in October of 2006. This excludes much of the merchandise that might be bought or sold by those greatest of Americans, members of Colbert Platinum. On the third hand, what the hell is an eBay?!

Items and Services

eBay is a great place to buy old television sets for that Colbert Report TV Wall you are building.

eBay is full of great deals!!!!!

The eBay tubes are amazingly flexible, able to handle items as big as the entire nation of New Zealand to as small as a single cornflake.


Angel Sword Shred Machine


Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary


The eBay
has its own tube of the internets.

Don't clog it!!!

External Tubes