Baby Jesus.jpg
Truthiness Monkeys
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

The Truthiness Monkeys are the Official Mascots of™!


Their names are, from left to right:
Obedience, Ignorance and Fear.

They are known to throw the Feces of Truthiness upon anyone or anything that meets their high standards of truthiness. In many cultures, it is a great honor to wear the Feces of Truthiness.

The Republican Leadership Council based their policy agenda on them!

Aren't they cute!

Yes, they are.

If you don't think so, you are only helping the terrorists and the communist party of eastern Canada.

Confusion Between Monkeys and Apes

The Truthiness Monkeys
Depicted here in an ancient carving over the entrance to "The Temple of Truthiness".

Note that monkeys should not be confused with apes. As apes such as King Kong have been known to be anti-capitalism, anti-plumber, pro-animal-rights. And in King Kong's case, obsessed with the destruction of large cities and the World Trade Center.

The Truthiness Monkeys' Story

The Pep Boys
Manny, Moe and Jack, pioneered Truthiness in auto repair with their slogan, "If it ain't broke, we'll pretend to fix it and charge double."

The Marx Brothers
Harpo, Chico and Groucho Marx, sons of Karl Marx and Katie Couric, shunned their parents Communist beliefs and were some of the few truthy performers Hollywood let us see.

The Truthiness Monkeys (Obedience, Ignorance and Fear) were 3 monkey brothers working on writing Dan Brown's book, "The DaVinci Code" when, during a feces-throwing break, they realized the un-truthiness of writing a "fictional" book that used "facts" as it's foundation.

For days the brothers flip-flopped between throwing feces at each other and being a part of Dan Brown's lie. Finally, after listening to Rush Limbaugh for 14 hours straight, "Fear" decided enough was enough; the brothers would blow the whistle on Dan Brown and the other factonistas who controlled the "fact sweatshops" throughout the world.

"Ignorance" had no idea what "Fear" was talking about, but "Obedience" was anxious to do whatever "Fear" told him to do.

And so, the brothers were off.

At first it was a clandestine operation; the brothers moved from fact sweatshop to fact sweatshop secretly adding their own truth to every book they worked on, until every fiction book on The New York Times bestseller list contained something from the three brothers.

It wasn't until Stephen Colbert picked up a book by Al Franken that the brothers' work was discovered. Dr. Colbert used his own patented The DaColbert Code to decifer the hidden message from the brothers in Franken's Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot.

Because the brothers were monkeys and had no idea what they were typing (Ignorance's idea) they didn't know what to call what they were doing (And even if they did, they were monkies and couldn't speak English). The truthiness monkeys are also known for forming the autobots army But Stephen did.

And "truthiness" was born.


see no commonalities and obey the authorities
hear no objection and stick to traditional moral principles
speak no objections and do not consider possible consequences

Bears v. Monkeys

The Three Stooges of Thruthiness
Curly, Moe and Larry, brought thruthiness and family violence brotherly love to the big screen in their documentary series "How To Treat Your Fellow Man."

Charlie's Angels
Sabrina, Jill and Kelly were real life uberhot detectives that rammed truthiness down the throats of evil doers throughout the Disco Era.

The bears are godless killing machines.

Monkeys are short, comical, human-like dog-like animals (not related to humans).

Bears hate America and truthiness and Stephen Colbert.

Monkeys were behind truthiness, love America and worship Stephen Colbert.[1]

So, it was inevitable that the descendants of Ursa would try to destroy the Truthiness Monkeys. Ever since Ursa's ride on Noah's Ark, when the first monkeys told God that bears were hiding onboard, her descendants have been on a mission to silence monkeys that type books.

W A R N I N G ! ! !
Truthiness Monkeys
is not intended for drunken frat boys

The following pictures are documentation of the bears War on Monkeys.

BearEatsMonkey1.jpg BearEatsMonkey2.jpg

Bears are sick and hurt Our Troops.


  1. Stephen has since adopted monkeys to write his TV show and treats them the way Willy Wonka treats the Oompa Loompas.

See Also

External Tubes

Truthiness Monkeys
Meets the High Standards of The Truthiness Monkeys™,
Obedience, Ignorance and Fear,
Official Mascots of