Truthiness award3.jpg
Truthiness award3.jpg

Uncle Ben won a 2006 "Truthie"
for Best Opening Line of the Year

Click here to view it in its award-winning state.
of Black Friends

Your default black friend

Uncle Ben is the default first black friend every child has, like Tom on MySpace.


His long, fruitful marriage to Aunt Jemima has lasted for nigh-on 70 years. It has outlasted The Great Depression, The Beatles, Communism, and the presidency of Jimmy Carter. Their children include:

  • Theo Huxtable
  • Flavor Flav
  • Johnny Cochrane
  • Rita Cosby

Rice Mogul

I'm Better Than Uncle Ben, I'm More Of George's Flavor, Holla

Uncle Ben made most of his money selling rice. He started in the rice game as a simple day-laborer working for room and board. Uncle Ben was once caught stealing rice. His superiors were forced to whip Ben violently. This gave him a new respect for, not only rice, but all things white. After the whipping, Ben decided to work twice as hard as ever. After many years of loyal service, Ben ventured out on his own. He devised a new way to cook rice in a minute and began the company "Uncle Ben's Minute Rice".

Volunteer Work

Though Uncle Ben tends to veer from media attention, he does spend most of his time doing volunteer work. Including:

  • Starting the Minute Man project to protect our borders
  • Donating time and money to the Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation
  • Awarding scholarships to under appreciated white children
  • Picketing women's clinics to help save stem cells

Notable Quotes

  • "With great power comes great responsibility

See Also