User:El Payo
Meets the High Standards of The Truthiness Monkeys™,
Obedience, Ignorance and Fear,
Official Mascots of

I, El Payo, do hereby take this oath and therefore swear myself to eternal service to The Baby Jesus/Americans/Our Glorious Stephen.

I am still alive and kicking, but work is doing most of the kicking. Keep up the good fight Nation!

Why does El Payo have an iPhone and I do not?

Politicians and diapers need to be changed often, and for the same reason.


I'm one of the heroes. How do I know? Because Stephen tells me so.

All You Need To Know
about El Payo
El Payo is a
Wikiality Administrator
specializing in Tek Jansen
Alphasquad7small.gif El Payo
is a member of
Tek Jansen's Alpha Squad 7.
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Surged with Distinction Award
El Payo wrote
Operation Ballstorm
,'s 6000th Article!
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Your article Fox Journalist was
made a Featured Word on 03/27/07!
Hattip2.gif Esteban Colberto has given you a Tip of their Hat for your work on Tom Cruise!
Word Icon.gif Congratulations El Payo!
Your article Gandalf was
made a Featured Word on 04/06/07!
Word Icon.gif Congratulations El Payo!
Your article iPhone was
made a Featured Word on 04/06/07!

About Me

It's Spanish, bitch.

That Stephen would nail Willie for the massive recall of Country Peach Cobbler ice cream.

That scientists would call Gliese 581c New Earth and that Stephen and Neil deGrasse Tyson would discuss our strategies for conquering it.

Y Yeeeeargh!


  • Articles - no longer up to date, too many to list

My current favorite article: Scorn
Favorite article I've contributed: Redacted

Other Stuff

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I have the all-time high score.Picture 3.jpg

Acceptance Speeches

Writer of the Year

Wow. Oh wow. This is such a shock, I have no idea what to say. So instead, I'll type in a prepared acceptance speech I keep on hand for just such an occasion:

Thank you so much for this (hold up award). Winning the (name of award) is such a thrill. I'd like to acknowledge my fellow nominees, especially WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer, what a honor it is to share this award with you. I'd like to thank my parents for believing that abortion is a sin. I don't know whether or not they actually believed that, but I'm here for some reason, and I'd like to think it's not because the condom broke. Wait! Stop the music. Stop it— there's one person who... (choke back tears)I promised myself I wouldn't cry... one person who made tonight possible. Stephen Colbert. (hold for applause) He's not here with us, but I know he's watching over us. (raise award toward ceiling)Stephen, wherever you are this is for you. (exit toward wrong side of stage, wait for attractive young woman to grab my arm and lead me off the correct direction)

Best Short Article of the Year

Thanks ██.


For your stellar work on The Knights Templar and your extensive investigative work on Ted Haggard you have been crowned "Mrs.Colbert", Congratulations!

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User:El Payo
has written a "Featured Article" on
Congratulations, you have earned the title of "Mrs. Colbert"!
Click here for a special message from Stephen

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User:El Payo
won a 2006 "Truthie"
for Writer of the Year
See all the winners here.

Truthiness award3.jpg
Truthiness award3.jpg
User:El Payo
won a 2006 "Truthie"
for Writing "Redacted", Winner of the "Best Short Article of the Year"
See all the winners here.

El Payo!

You've got brass ones!