Welcome To Wikiality.comEdit


Well, hello there. I didn't see you come in...

Now that you're here, would like to welcome you to the truthiest tube of the internets! We are a Colbert-centric wiki, where every entry comes from the gut to express truthiness, justiness, and The American Way.

Please check out the Beginners' Guide, About, and the common "issues" page for assistance and links to other helpful pages.

Also, don't miss the Current Events for the latest in game-like activities.

Please avoid wikipedophilia, randomness, vanity, and any other form of non-Colbert content.

Citizen Prof. McDoc, thank you for joining, and thank you for supporting our President! Together we can accomplish Our Glorious Stephen's mission of filling every tube on the internets with truthyisms!!

God Bless America!!! And God Bless The Greatest Living American!!!!! --WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 06:15, 7 September 2008 (UTC)

Talk To MeEdit

2009 TruthiesEdit

Don't forget to vote! 2009 Truthiness Awards - Atenea del Sol 20:30, February 2, 2010 (UTC)


Someone already added the cocktail bit in the intro!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 02:59, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

European BandsEdit

It is disgraceful that Viacom has resorted to hiring Hollywood-types to book Dr. Colbert's newsprogram. Otherwise how else could this quota-system be explained?

Personally, I believe the band behind the video on this page should appear on The Report!

BTW, all Americans should vent their rage on Wikiality; we're the only trusted tube in the internets!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 05:35, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

Recount 3Edit

We've got everything done except for the poster. To see it, Click Here 20:37, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

-Take The Oath of Truthiness. Sign on the talk page when done.


Featured ArticlesEdit

I just got one of my pages and fellow Loyalist Atenea Del Sol's on the featured pages page. There called Barack Obama (Secret Republican), and Stock Market. Please oh pretty please go on the talk page and vote yes, and if it's not much trouble, get your friends to do the same.

Sincerely... 20:28, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Have you voted yet!?Edit

We have articles that are featured on the front tube, but people have to vote to put them there. You can vote for them here.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:04, 2 May 2009 (UTC) Home OfficeEdit

I started a new page, Home Office.

I was hoping to make it like a virtual "office" which means we can basically use it however we please. Post your ideas on the talk page, or just start editing.

Enjoy!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 09:42, 22 April 2009 (UTC)


For special characters to denote redaction, please see this page--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 03:36, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Recount 3Edit

Dann and I are planning a film based on the valiant struggles of the Colbert Loyalists against the foes of truthiness. You've been cast as Robert Downey Jr. - would you prefer to look like him as Tony Stark, or a younger version? ---Atenea del Sol 17:08, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

CNS UnnamedEdit

Why not the CNS Scooter Libby? --Atenea del Sol 13:33, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

I should probably take this moment to remind you that I am the Goddess of Truthiness and Strategery. If you want to dedicate something to me, you need something built out of stone on the top of a mountain. A covert base, perhaps. --Atenea del Sol 15:07, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Another FYIEdit

The polls are back up and running! Click here: poll!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 05:08, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Opps, I forgot, you can now vote for Dr. Colbert as Surgeon General (here)!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 05:26, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

That One Guy's User PageEdit

Just an FYI, I made a minor change to it.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 08:09, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Featured WordEdit

I was only a little hesitant to put your word up because it hasn't been mentioned in the news. However, I did because of the balls it took to remind America that--like Dr. Colbert--Prof. McDoc is also not honored by the liberal elite. Congratulations.

Next time, please keep featured word candidates limited to words mentioned by the liberal media.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:40, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

PS If you haven't already, check out the Featured Articles page for any pages you feel should be so honored.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:45, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
Bless you hero, bless the fuck out of you.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 03:41, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Colbert LoyalistsEdit

Tell me more, tell me more! Atenea del Sol 04:52, 20 February 2009 (UTC)

I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER!!!! 11:54, 20 February 2009 (UTC)

May I have the post of Secretary of Secretaries? I'm probably the only lady you have in the membership. I will gladly add my master's degree in organic chemistry to the Alchemy Section. Atenea del Sol 00:44, 22 February 2009 (UTC)


Have you been on the Colboard lately? I check the numbers over at all the time and lately they've been abysmal.

We haven't been Honoring Dr. Colbert the way should be.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:44, 20 February 2009 (UTC)


Look at it this way: you've not been awarded by as many groups as Dr. Colbert himself! Anyway, post your own Valentines card for Stephen, here!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:27, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. I fear The Nation is failing Dr. Colbert. 22 minutes a night, four times a week, several weeks out of the year he proves his love for America and we have only a few cards to show our love for him.
I am ashamed that are not more people clamoring to show our love for him.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:51, 13 February 2009 (UTC)


Hmm. Wikip*dia says it literally means "horseman," which could just as easily mean "cowboy."

Does that help?--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:38, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Glad to hear it! We have to fight against the Franco-fication of our language.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:13, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Don't forget to vote!Edit

Voting is now open for the 2008 Truthys!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 02:55, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

Don't forget on the "news caption" category you get to vote for 3 entries!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:22, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

Prof. McDoc AwardEdit

Thank you, I am flattered and humbled and--as always--gracious! Perhaps my first duty would be to design one for you?

Please peruse some of my other works: here. (I've made newer stuff, but I've lost track of everything) Make a list of what you think it should look like and we can work on details, etc.

Also, please sign the petition to make Stephen Surgeon General of America (since he's a doctor).

Oh, and tell all your friends!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 05:00, 8 January 2009 (UTC)

Stephen's BallsEdit

One day we will know what they're made of, but I guess it's enough to know that they're there when we need them regardless of their composition.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 03:48, 4 January 2009 (UTC)

Colbert NationEdit

Oh, my goodness! I don't know what to say! I would be honored, but how could I best serve Stephen!? What positions are open!? I have so much to do! I have to design a uniform and medals!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 09:00, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

I think I will have to think feel on this more (it's almost bedtime for me!) But, it will have to be an honorary position (similar to Dr. Colbert's doctorate). More contemplation is required. I do not take this honor lightly and must give it the gravitas it deserves.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 09:16, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
Prime Minister! Can it be honorary Prime Minster? Or Prime Ministwer Emeritus due to my advanced age!? Now I'm too excited to get to bed!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 09:27, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
I am indeed pleased with such an honor (even though it smacks of Europism). I would be honored to wear the athletic supporter of the Colbert Nation's Colbert Loyalists Honorary Prime Minister Emeritus!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 09:45, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

Year-end AwardsEdit

What awards should award this year? For some examples from previous years see these links: 2006 and 2007.

Please post your suggestions for categories to be awarded here, then post your nominees for that category in the appropriate section (make one if necessary) in the Nominations section.

Please only post items that were created in 2008.

Any questions, post them on the Awards page talk page, here.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 21:43, 26 December 2008 (UTC)

Need your help!Edit

I had a colboard account long ago, but have allowed it to wither away while tending to this encycloptic endeavor.

First I need your opinion about an idea, then, if you feel it is worthy (or doable) help promoting it on the colboard.

The idea: starting an online poll or petition to nominate Dr. Colbert to replace Rick Warren at Obama's inaugural!

I'm looking forward to hearing your opinion on this matter.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 08:39, 19 December 2008 (UTC)

First we need a place for people to vote online. The "poll" function on wikis has taken a dump (I tested it here yesterday and it's not working). Next, we need enough heroes to vote the American way (tell everyone on the Colboard), then to digg it up to get others involved. If you can help with any of that, I would appreciate it!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 02:14, 21 December 2008 (UTC)
Does any of the other heroes have a way to create a poll? I was hoping someone else might be able to device an alternative.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 23:11, 21 December 2008 (UTC)
Every American will be thankful! Hallelujah!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 06:37, 29 December 2008 (UTC)


FYI, sniglet.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 20:15, 12 December 2008 (UTC)

New Templates Made Just For YouEdit

User signatures are not permitted on Wikiality articles, unless it is Stephen himself. However, I created 3 new templates for you to insure completeness when documenting truthiness from the Colboard.

These templates are:

  • "mcdoc" to indicate when you have created something which originated on the Colboard
  • "cncreator" to indicate when one Hero created something which originated on the Colboard
  • "cncreators" to indicate when more than one Hero created something which originated on the Colboard

To use the templates, simply type the name inside two sets of fancy brackets (in the same way you use the "dic" template).

For examples of their usage, please see Anerkanee and Americany.

If you have any questions, please drop me a note.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 20:15, 12 December 2008 (UTC)

You're WelcomeEdit

I just hope nothing I've done has been too confusing!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:18, 2 December 2008 (UTC)

Bear Battle GraphsEdit

I reformatted those pesky tables. See if that works for you.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 08:46, 2 November 2008 (UTC)


This sounds like a fascinating discovery. Could Dr. Colbert's balls be made of this metal instead of brass?--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 04:39, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Your User PageEdit

Don't forget you have a page where you can post stuff about yourself, here.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 03:31, 7 September 2008 (UTC)

Happy to be Aboard Edit

Well, I'd just thought I'd put myself out there, you know. By the way, I'm writing an article on alchemy, if you're interested. --DorkVader 16:38, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Quick Question Edit

I was just kinda wondering: Now that I'm a Loyalist and a member of the Alchemical Research Department, are there any projects for me to work on? I ehard about Colbanium. Something of that nature? Anything at all, really. --DorkVader 19:45, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Wow! Edit

Holy crap, never thought I'd advance this quickly! Colbert be praised! Anywho, I'm working on how to refine Colanium for various uses. I'll keep you posted. --DorkVader 12:43, 19 March 2009 (UTC)



Through not-so-extensive testing, we uber-nerdsTM have come up with two new weapons to add to the Colbert Nation arsenal.

It does these things in a ten-mile radius:

  1. Turns any liberal into a Flaming Liberal
  2. Turns anyone of any other religion into a Roman Catholic
  3. Gives any Colbert Nation citizen telekinetic abilities.

Fan-flippin'-tastic. But now I'm bored like hell and my truthy-to-random ratio in my articles will get all outta wack. Any other projects? --DorkVader 12:43, 31 March 2009 (UTC)


WARNING! It turns out that the refining process of Colbanium produces a byproduct mineral: Stewartium, which contains such concentrated Jewiness that it almost made me put on a yamaka! EXERCISE EXTREME CAUTION! --DorkVader 12:36, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

No Headline Edit

I've recently created an article on Colbanium, its uses, and its relation to the Quantum Theory of Truthiness. As the foremost expert on the QTT, I'd appreciate it if you'd look it over. --DorkVader 12:39, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

Holy crap Edit

I am deeply honored. Thanks a lot. --DorkVader 01:22, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Movin' on up, aren't I? Been here a few months and already up for an award. October 10, 2012 nailing, here I come! --DorkVader 19:40, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Weeeell, that may pose a problem. I'm on a school computer and I don't know if I can bypass the filter.....I can give it a shot. --DorkVader 12:33, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Dammit. Yeah, man, no luck. However, when I visit my mom I'll give it a try. N filters there. Be a week or so though. --DorkVader 12:43, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

My Turn Edit

Now I need a favor from you, Prof. It all started yesterday, with my post-school pre-Report routine: chilling out with a tall glass of Fitz's, cracking open I Am America (And So Can You), and rocking out to a Rush album. Today, A Farewell to Kings. Then Tom Sawyer starts to play and it hits me: this almost perfectly describes Stephen Colbert! So now I want to make a Colbert clip video set to Tom Sawyer. Trouble is, I have no idea how. Help a protege out?

May the Truth be with you,

D. Vader, Esq.

Cool. Keep me posted. --DorkVader 02:53, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

I had a couple ideas over the weekend. First, it should ever so slightly resemble the Lawrence Lessig remixEpisode #495 in that it should mix in notable Colbisms. It should also begin with the squaw of the eagle that traditionally opens the report, and Stephen should say "This is the Colbert Report" right before the music starts. --DorkVader 12:46, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

I'm guessing you need more ideas, given the act that you haven't contacted me in a month. You remember that one episode where Stephen showed that a senator had made an album and then he showed us some of his? Well, he plays air drums in that episode that could be perfectly timed with the opening drum riff of Tom Sawyer. --DorkVader 15:04, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, I have no idea how one would make such a video, which is why I came to you. As for the Anti-Bear Technology, I'd be happy to help, but I need all the details and holes in your little Swiss-cheese plans, techie. --DorkVader 02:49, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Say Prof... Edit

Hey Prof, I've had an idea ytou might like. It's a new way of measuring time: Abs programma conditum, or APC. It's Latin for "From the founding of the show." It counts the years from the first episode of the Colbert Report. For example, this year, AD 2009, would actually be APC 4. Mull it over. Just a bit of a gutblast. --DorkVader 22:40, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

Awesome. Thought I'd run it by you, since you have more chutzpah (sound it out) around the tubes. --DorkVader 01:54, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

By the way, you never did give me those specs I wanted for the Anti-Bear Technology so I could see what I could do with it. --DorkVader 19:54, September 1, 2009 (UTC)

Okay, I've done a little gut-storming, and I figured out that if we impregnate (not as fun as it sounds) the metal of the armor with a stable isotope of Colbanium, we could make it undetectable by liberals. Of course, the drawback is that prolonged exposure to Colbanium can cause excess truthiness, a red flag for any liberal. --DorkVader 22:19, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

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