Wal-Mart was a Wikiality.com Featured Word on 9/13/07.
|The Sovereign Nation of Wal-Mart |
|Slogan:||Our slogan has always been:
"Save Money. Live Better"
|National Flower:||A bouquet of tube socks, $1.99|
|National Bird:||The Yellow Smiley Face|
|National Motto:||Corporate Supremacy, Always|
|Royal Family:||The Jacksons|
|National Anthem:||Deutschland Über Alles|
|National Religion:||Good Savings|
|Currency:||the food stamp and coupons|
|Literacy Rate:||12% (8% of those are Mexicans)|
|Climate:||warmed by CO2|
|Fun Fact # 1:||The nation of Wal-Mart is completely paved over!|
Wal-Mart is a sovereign nation of 50,460,110 Mexicans, and one rich white guy; however it is still dwarfed by the might and utter awesomeness of the Colbert Nation.
It is located on the North American continent.
The People's Republic of Wal-Mart[edit | edit source]
History[edit | edit source]
Wal-Mart began as a small island pwned by N00Bs and midget Hispanic cashiers, but expanded into an empire. It purchased the United States of America from Republicans in 2012, when America could not repay its debt to China.
China paid for America in full, in cash. Republicans are paying to get back the "red states" on a special lay-away plan.
After their release of their new military/war home kit, Wal-mart also took on Target and K-mart and killed every employee.
Social Structure[edit | edit source]
Market forces have perfected America and named it Wal-Mart.
Wal-Mart's efficiency and serendipitous legal reforms have made life so wonderful for all citizens.
Employment[edit | edit source]
Employment at Wal-Mart is guaranteed. If a citizen cannot work directly at a Wal-Mart supermarket, department store, Superstore, pharmacy, bank, gas station, movie theater, or whorehouse, they can find work with a Wal-Mart Support Industry.
Wal-Mart Support Industries are simply the parts of Wal-Mart that are not directly employed through the stores, they are:
- Transportation system (goods and personnel)
- Security forces
- Cleaning services
- Dry cleaners
- Anything else you can think of
Housing[edit | edit source]
Since the nation of Wal-Mart is a wholly owned subsidiary of Wal-Mart, Inc. LLC, all property within its borders belongs to Wal-Mart. And because Wal-Mart is so loving and compassionate, they make properties available for rent to their 50,460,105 employees.
Rent for housing is taken directly out of an employee's paycheck, which is just another example of Wal-Mart's efficiency.
Religion[edit | edit source]
Wal-Mart has taken the idea of the Mega-Church and made it their own. Inside every Wal-Mart Store is an Express Church™ that receives services directly from the Wal-Mart Support Communications Industry five times a day.
Patron Saint[edit | edit source]
The patron saint of the nation of Wal-Mart is Angelina Jolie, as depicted in this Holy Portrait hovering over the citizens.
This way all 50,460,105 Wal-Mart employees can receive spiritual guidance simultaneously.
Bear Attacks[edit | edit source]
Bears have been organizing attacks against Wal-Mart through their puppets, labor unions. Wal-Mart would rather close a store than to see these Godless communists take over. Unfortunately, if your entire country is run by Godless communists, such as China, Wal-Mart is defenseless in stopping labor and union rights from being imposed. Wal-Mart has sent out secret agents known as "poachers" to kill of the bears.
Products[edit | edit source]
Wal-Mart creates their own milk-like beverage that contains the healthy type of rBST.
Promotions[edit | edit source]
Long known for "door buster" sales, Wal-Mart knows a thing or two about marketing! Wal-Mart also creates and distributes a video showing the day after Thanksgiving shopping stampede for new shoppers
See Also[edit | edit source]
External Tubes[edit | edit source]
- Wal-Mart opens in India
- Wal-Mart goes hippie gay libural
- Wal-Mart to save America's Economy
- Too Expensive to Die? Not Anymore! Come to Wal-Mart, where dying is cheap!
- Teh Geys are now invading Wal-Mart!!
- Wal-Mart targeted by undesirables
- Wal-Mart sued for installing cameras to detect Terrorist Activities
- Wal Mart needs your help to fight Socialism
- Wal Mart still looking ways to infiltrate the Communist Market
- Wal Mart Nation is so rich it doesnt need no stinking security guards
- Thank you Wal-Mart for saving the free market