Who's Riding My Coattails Now?
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.


Who's Riding My Coattails Now? is a segment of The Colbert Report which first aired on the November 29, 2006 edition of The Report. It needs new intro music that says 'news' not 'coconuts.' Jimmy will get on it right away.

Coattail Riders

Alex Trebek

King of the coattail-riding Jerks: bear-lover and Canadian Alex Trebek

  • The Answer: "A bunch of coattail-riding jerks"

The Question: What is Jeopardy!?

The Jeopardy! people, led by their unmustachioed guru Alex Trebek, have now co-opted Stephen Colbert's intelligence twice. Once using 'truthiness' as a clue answer and once using 'Filliam H. Muffman' as the basis of a question. The 'Filliam H. Muffman' question is particularly troubling since the contestant who answered correctly, actor James Denton, works with half of Filliam on the TV documentary series Desperate Housewives.

Clearly Alex Trebek wants to be Stephen Colbert. Shaving off the mustache ain't enough, Trebek.

The Decemberists

Framegrab from The Decemberists' Hate America First 16 Military Wives video.

Indie rockers The Decemberists are shamelessly riding Stephen's coattails with their Green Screen Challenge - a 'challenge' for their fans to create a music video for them. Typical indie rock slacker stoners, they're too lazy to do it themselves. In response, Stephen has issued his second Green Screen Challenge.

Hot Chip


  • Hot Chip

The band Hot Chip also is riding Stephen's coattails with their green screen video, Over and Over. The video is just another example of the rampant Stephen's coattail-riding that characterizes today's music industry.


The band Incubus, riding the coattails of the Decemberists, nixo-facto riding the coattails of Stephen.

  • Incubus

Rap-rock metal band Incubus thinks they have the balls to ride Stephen's coattails. They have issued a challenge similar to the thieves the Decemberists, and offered up footage to their fans at the website Come on guys, Rap-rock?! Are you serious with that crap?

Bill Clinton

Clinton will be giving the commencement address at Knox College, which Stephen put on the map. Slick Willie is trying to steal Stephen's thunder, after Stephen borrowed it from Senator Barack Obama. To protest this shameless coattail-riding and the possible granting of an honorary doctorate to Clinton, Stephen threw his own honorary Knox College doctorate at a portrait of Clinton (representing Knox College).

Terence Koh

Kho is ripping off Stephen's Formula 401 by selling his own manroot juice. To counter the rip-off artist, Stephen is now offering Stephen Colbert's Formula 401 Pour L'Artiste, harvested while Stephen looks at paintings at the Guggenheim, especially those hot Mondrians. Formula 401 Pour L'Artiste is priced at $99,999.00, a full dollar less than Koh's own essence. How does Stephen keep the prices so low? Volume.

Willie Nelson

Willie is attempting to steal Stephen's vanilla and chocolate-covered waffle chunk thunder with his own Ben & Jerry's flavor of ice cream, Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler. Stephen accused Willie of riding his coattails on the March 21, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report.

Cenk Uygur

Whiner from Air America who is not funny and certainly not as funny as Stephen.

Or as beautiful.

Vince Vaughn


January 15, 2008 copied Dr. Colbert's "friend pose" in the Fred Claus poster

  • also copied Stephen's comfort Jennifer Aniston pose

Peter Hopkins


January 15, 2008

Steals Dr. Colbert's lifeblood, while the writers are on strike

Oliver Plocher and German GQ

A miniaturized copy of German GQ displaying the blatant coattail riding


February 14, 2008

Have a pleasant night's sleep

  • German GQ
    • Oliver Pocher, the German Stephen Colbert
    • coattail Anschluss
    • claims to be a comedian, there is no such thing as a German comedian
  • Stephen then put Herr Pocher on notice!

More Factoids

  • Mr. Pocher likes soccer coaches the the team of Sansibar
  • he also ripped off Demi Moore (see photo at right)
  • He has his own Late Night Show, which he is co-hosting with the very uncle of Hitler
  • his impersionations are so bad, that they need to be impersonated
  • He describes himself as both a Communist and a Nazi
  • like every German, he is born with a mental impairment
  • since Mr Pocher hasen't the guts to engage in a transatlantic feud, he rejoined the Hitler Youth
  • he wears secretly an SS-uniform, in which case his ball-less balls appear bigger

Herman Cain

  • Cain’s Plan For Securing The Border: Build The Great Wall Of China, and Fill a Moat With Alligators[1][2]. Now that sounds familiar...