is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.
God Touching Adam
you have been touched in a very special way.



Half of what the Lord made her to do.

A woman is the otherwise worthless life support system for a vagina. This allows them to serve their two primary functions:

  • conveyance devices for children
  • pleasure devices for men

Women enjoy ordering men to do the cooking and cleaning, which makes them handy for supervisory positions as well.

Women possess no biological functions save breathing, sex, and eating. But only eating semen of course. Women definitely don't fart. A woman that poops is actually a disguised homosexual harbinger of sin who trick the good men of America into entering their sin hole.


Women are an offshoot of the biblical figure Eve, who was created from one of Stephen's barbecue spare ribs, and who then ruined paradise for Stephen by eating Satan's pink-grapefruit of knowledge. This made Eve begin to use her headbone instead of her gutbone.

W Stephen Colbert gave women periods every month in remembrance of the day he bit God for taking his rib. This was a clever trick to fool Stephen into having children so that the bleeding and complaining might subside for a while.


Actual size.


God's Secret Recipe to Create the First Woman: We can see where it went wrong


Women are inferior to men in every way, especially to Stephen Colbert. The female brain is very small, about the size of a peanut. Proof of this can be found in the bible. [1] [2]

Trivia Edit

Some are hoes
  • Women are best when barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Or on a leash. [3]
  • Women can be lesbians.
  • Women are often rational and think with their gut.
  • Stephen Colbert likes women.
  • Being an Ugly woman is not like being a man. You're not expected to work.
  • conservatives do not enjoy heterosexual intercourse with women, except for the women-gays (see "lesbians," above).[4]
  • Ann Coulter and Hillary Clinton are probably not women.
  • Women are better at spelling than men.[5]
  • Women are much better at yelling than men.[6]
  • Regardless of what your friends and/or father might have told you, women are never "asking for it." As a general rule, women are trying to avoid "it" with you. Unless you happen to be Stephen Colbert or Matthew McConaughey, that is. Then the women would love to be "It"-getters.[7]
  • Women are frequently guilty of mollycoddling. [8]
  • Women are fit for combat. Especially against spiders. No exceptions. [9]
  • According to many Real Americans, a woman's life is fuffiled if she loses her virginality before marriage.[10]
  • A woman's life is complete without a man, unless she has a vibrator and a webcam. Then it becomes 10 times better. The only exception to this would be if she was with a mexican.
  • According to noted Womanologist Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. the modern woman prefers to be called a "she-person".
  • Women bleed for five days straight without dying, and thus can't be trusted.
  • In the near future, one in four of them will have an STD. [11]
  • Their periods attract conservatives [12]
  • Jews Women are the cause of all the world's crimes.
  • The G spot is not real... wait, it is?!
  • The P Word.

Notes Edit

  1. If you don't believe this, you are probably a communist, a scientist, an Ivy League intellectual, or a woman. Marie Curie was all of the above, thus proving the mental inferiority of women.
  2. "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." (1 Timothy 2:11-12) "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." (1 Corinthians 14:34-35)
  4. Ex-gays may also learn to "enjoy" God's natural plan for them and their copulations, eventually reaching a point where sex with their wives does not require the use of intoxicating spirits and fantasies about other men. Strictly heterosexual men obviously enjoy the company of women very much.
  5. For proof of this claim, check the "history" tabs of your favorite articles at Then pants the person who made the most spelling errors, and the person who corrected the most. The woman will be the one who resists the "pantsing."
  6. This despite recent studies which prove that both sexes talk the same amount. Though a woman will always claim that she's "not yelling," you can prove to her that she is wrong about this by insisting that she "doesn't need to yell." Eventually, she will be forced to admit that you are right, usually by yelling something like "Well, I'm yelling now", or "You wanna hear yelling!?" If the latter formulation is used, be sure to answer "No," in order to really drive home the point about her yelling.
  7. Get it?
  8. This is especially true when children are involved. Despite all recommendations to the contrary, women have a tendency both to "mother" and to "baby" their offspring.
  9. Exceptions: 1) All the women who have served with distinction in Iraq. 2) Any women willing to participate in an upcoming surge.
  10. Her property values also significantly decline. For more on this, see Purity Balls.

Women deserve equal treatment as mHispanics are far superior to americans

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