Al Franken
Women's Rights has earned
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Women's rights are overrated. They should not vote, at least not single women. If their husbands tell them what to vote, then they can vote. Other than that they just decide too wacky to be allowed to vote.
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~ Ann Coulter, who is single married to Jesus
New York Observer October 2, 2007

According to the Federal Council on the Affairs of Women, women's rights are the following (this list is exhaustive):

  • Marrying the man of their parents' choice
  • Following her husband's orders
  • Cooking three delicious meals a day
  • Getting out of the house if allowed to do so
  • Sleeping (as long as it does not interfere with her chores)
  • Eating (after her husband and only if he liked the meal)
  • Drinking (non-alcoholic beverages only, women can't handle alcohol)
  • Watching Stephen Colbert

Other rights have been arbitrarily demanded and luckily not too widespread, including but not limited to:

  • Voting
  • Thinking for themselves
  • Remaining single

Isn't that cute?

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