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To achieve the proper education,
"World War II"
provides All The History You Need To Know.

USA vs Japan: This is going to get HAWT!!

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Captain America and Stephen Colbert save the world (and more importantly, America) from Hitler.


The 'European Theater'.

World War II, also known as "The War America Won", was a giant war won by America... and ONLY America.

Unlike most sequels, World War II is commonly recognized as having been way more awesome than World War I, kind of like how Empire Strikes Back is better than A New Hope, but not quite as good as World War III (AKA Return Of The Colbert... coming soon).

According to Call of Duty 3, filthy Nazis ran roughshod over Europe, beating them up at recess and taking their lunch money. Hitler was the Darth Vader of his time, siring only one child, and that child would then give birth to Stephen Colbert (AKA Ted Hitler), who would then rise up to destroy his grandfather, just like Luke Skywalker.

With London nearing surrender like the pussies they are (they were only bombed, for God's sake, it happens in Iraq all the time and things are going swimmingly there), and France actually pre-surrendering before Nazis even crossed their borders, it was up to America to come in and save the day, as always, with their massive guns, tanks and penises.

Led by a fully erect Captain America, Nick Fury & The Howling Commandos, and Stephen Colbert (Captain America's future replacement), Allied forces stormed Hitler's Death Star, flying through the superstructure and knocking out the reactor, leading to a chain reaction that destroyed their ultimate weapon. The majority of the war was fought in the 'European Theater', which in itself proves that they were pussies, as theater is pretty gay and liberal-minded.

Modern day Iraq... errrr... London after constant bombing in WW2.

The ultimate victory by America led to a great feeling of resentment among European nations, who felt (rightly) de-balled by our greatness and the enormous size of our penises. Since that time, all of Europe, especially the French, have been snooty when dealing with Americans. It was not until the war on terror began that the Brits actually grew their balls back, supporting the greatest president ever on his global campaign to find and kill the terrorists, wherever they may be (offer not valid in Pakistan).

Other Countries InvolvementEdit


The French Special Ops team didn't amount to very much...

The United Kingdom helped a little, mainly by acting as a target for all those Nazi bombs.

France was a pansy and surrendered right away.

Soviet Russia bombed the enemy a little bit, but in Soviet Russia, enemy bombs you!!!

So that didn't really help all that much.


Germany, Japan, and Italy formed the Axis of Evil during World War II because they were all ruled by Nazis.

They all lost, possibly due to their tiny penises, which are far smaller than American penises.

Japan got nucular weapons dropped on it and two of its cities, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, got blown up.

Then it surrendered to America... what was left of it, anyway.

Key BattlesEdit


Colbert and Goofy fought at the Battle of Midway

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Comic books of the time reflected Stephen's influence on troop morale.

Among the key battles of World War II were:

Battle of Midway (where the japanese got their asses handed to them by America because of Pearl Harbor.)

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The infamous Battle Of Midway... as seen in video game form.

* Dumb-Day (where America and her allies graded the Germans on their performance and ultimately awarded them a "D-" letter grade right before invading their territory), and
  • Z-Day (on which America invaded Japan and got their butts kicked; this battle never actually happened, now remembered in place of 10/11 on February 38th ).


During WWII, a hoax known as the Holocaust happened. A man named Adolf Hitler supposedly rounded up a bunch of Jews and killed them, but despite how popular this "fact" is, it is just a lie schools and PBS pound into people's brains to get them to feel sorry for the Jews, and therefore let them run the media in America rather than America's Rightful Leaders.


The war lasted for roughly 6 years, but only 4 years counted as nobody cares what happened before America joined. After the war, the Cold War ensued, and hot cocoa Pie and oatmeal was had by all.

Mmmmm. Cold War is delicious.

Unfortunately, the end of the war also brought about the creation of the United Nations.

So, it's not an entirely happy ending, as the U.N. loves terrorists and includes loser nations like France and Britan.


America makes peace with Japan and has hawt sex with her! Japan gets “Atomic Orgasm”…

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

World War 0  | World War I  | World War II  | World War III
The War of Northern Aggression  | Cold War  | Korean War  | Vietnam War
The French Revolution  | War of 1812  | American-Indian War  | American-Mexican War  | American-Spanish War
War On Terror  | Gulf War  | Operation Iraqi Freedom  | War On Iran
War On Christmas  | Easter Under Attack  | The War On The Fourth Of July  | War on Monkeys  | The Cola Wars  | War on The Free Market  | The War To Christmasize Israel  | War of The Internets Tubes  | War On Science
War On The Middle Class  | The War Against The Gayification of American Children  | War On Drugs  | War On Poverty

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