Yahweh Or No Way
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.

A new segment where Dr. Colbert can discuss God and others can hear him.

January 8, 2009 Vision


  • Is Roland Burris really God's chosen Senator
    • performs miracles any where he goes, a podium appears
  • Yahweh!
    • Balgo did talk to god, the FBI has the taped phone conversation
  • Pat Robertson
  • like a Magic 8-ball
    • yes
    • maybe
    • Blame the gays
  • Jim Cramer IS Jesus
  • No Way-- false idol
  • God would never endorse socialism
  • Neil Donald Walsh, author os "Passages from God"
    • posted a story on Beliefnet
  • God expresses exasperation
    • Oh, banana
      • never Oh, pumpkin (never takes the goard's name in vain)
  • also made Star Trek reference
  • Yahweh-- Walsh did not plagiarize
    • stole flood from Gilgamesh and burning Bush from Dick Cheney

May 14, 2009 Vision


  • Telemundo talk show host/Miami Priest
    • missed the part about sparing the rod
  • Father Alberto Cutié
    • breaching his vow of celibacy
  • Catholics with options are called Protestants
  • Does God want priests to be celibate
    • Yahweh
  • Donald Trump allowed Miss California to keep her crown
  • was God really talking to Carrie Prejean
    • Yahweh, she may be the second coming
      • like Jesus she rode into town on her ass